Just Stay
by myredcowboyboots
Summary: What would things have been like if Tara stayed?
1. Chapter 1

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Just Stay

Pairings: Jax/Tara

Spoilers: Might Spoil Season 1

Warnings: PG-13 for now

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Summary: What would have happened if Tara had stayed

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At 19, Tara wasn't sure of everything, but it was safe to say that she was sure that most other 19 year olds were not leading the same life as she. Most girls she knew didn't have boyfriends that were into the MC lifestyle. In fact she was willing to bet that every other girl in her English 101 class went to frat parties on Friday nights, not crazy parties sponsored by SAMCRO.

Tara mulled over these thoughts as she watched the clock run down, only half an hour more until she was done with class for the week. And then it was just another hour or so home to Charming.

The sound of someone saying her named brought Tara out of her musings.

"Tara, Tara," called Josh Kohn, the overly eager guy that sat next to her.

"Yeah?" Tara wasn't really in the mood to deal with Josh right now. Sure, he was nice enough but something about him just really gave her the creeps.

"Are you going to that party at Alpha Gama tonight," he questioned excitedly. He really wanted her to come, if only so he could get her drunk and convince her to leave that no good boyfriend of hers.

"Um, no I don't think so I promised my boyfriend I'd see him tonight," Tara said. She was not really in the mood for any SOA parties tonight, but she was even less into attending a Berkley party.

"Oh that's too bad. Are you heading home now or do you think you'd have time to get a cup of coffee?" Josh was just not prepared to give up just yet.

"I think Jax is supposed to be picking me up soon. So maybe another time, " that last part Tara had just said to be polite. She wasn't actually planning to follow through.

By this point Tara and Josh had begun to walk towards the parking lot. Both looked up as they saw Jax Teller leaning against his motorcycle smoking a cigarette.

Tara bounded over to where he was and pulled him into a deep kiss, snaking her arms around him as he leaned down to deepen the kiss. Josh just hung back and watched. She was going to be his soon; his plan would soon be in motion.

"Hey baby," Jax whispered as Tara pulled out of this kiss, foreheads still touching as she smiled and bit her lip.

"Hey you," she said giggling ever so slightly.

"I thought you couldn't pick me up," Tara was much happier it was Jax picking her up then Gemma. The older woman was never out right nasty to Tara but she was pretty sure the older woman hated her.

"Well I finished early at the shop so I thought I'd come and pick you up. But we gotta go now so I can still make it back for Church," he said as he handed her his helmet.

"Church isn't for another four hours," Tara stated.

"I know" Jax said as he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at her before heading off down the road towards Charming.

Tara just rolled her eyes. Sex was always on Jax's brain.

"Jackson Teller. Is that all you can think of?" she jokingly chastised him.

Not that she really had a problem with that but since he picked her up. It could only mean one thing, he wanted two things: first that he wanted her to help his mom set up for the party after Church, second that around midnight he would drunkly try to convince Tara to spend the night. Where in the morning she would wake up and wonder how many of his brothers-in-arms had seen or heard what they did last night.

Neither of those things really appealed to Tara but she would do them anyway. It was all part of being an "old lady." She had given up her shot at being a normal girl a long long time ago.

Tara inhaled Jax's scent, which was a strange mix of tobacco, leather, beer, and grease, and sighed; squeezing her arms around his waist just a little bit harder. This is where she felt safe, there with him holding on to him as if there was nothing else in the world. He turned his head to look at her, as she kissed his neck.

Jax knew that this was right, even though he was young deep down him knew that right here with Tara that's where he should be. He knew how much Tara gave up to be with him, how hard it was for her to turn down schools that would get her out of Charming and instead pick some place that where she could still be with him. He knew that she was cut out to be so much more then small town California girl. Maybe that decision was why she meant so much to him. Whatever it was he knew that he loved her and only her.

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Review =D. Where would you like to see this go?


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing still.

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Tara sat on her stool at the bar slowly nursing her beer, even though Church was still going on the party had already started. To the causal observed Tara looked quite sober as she slowly sipped her beer. Tara was instead pleasantly drunk, this may have been her first beer but there quite a few empty shot glasses lined up around her. Tara always felt uncomfortable at the clubhouse so tonight a little liquid courage was just what she needed to get the party started. That said, the party was always going, and partying was not exactly Tara's cup of tea. Sure she enjoyed the occasional party and drunken night but with SAMCRO every night was a party. Or it was better to say that with Jax every night was a party. After they had graduated high school Jax had moved out of his mother's house into a room above the clubhouse. To give him 'more freedom or whatever' not that Gemma ever tried to stop him when he lived at home. But now that Jax lived upstairs from the party happened Tara found herself trying harder and harder to keep up with him. Where most nights she had school work or work to deal with, Jax was out partying.

She found herself sleeping alone for the first time since she was 15; she actually began to miss sneaking around behind Gemma's back. It would be a lie to say that Tara never wondered if Jax was sleeping alone because more and more it crossed her mind. She knew Jax loved her and she did trust him for the most part. However Tara was in no way stupid enough to believe that girls were not throwing themselves at her boyfriend left and right. And now that he lived at the clubhouse she was positive that all those sweet butts automatically assumed that since Tara wasn't around all the time Jax was a free agent.

Caught up in her own thoughts Tara didn't notice her boyfriend come in and sit in the back of the room. Nor did she notice the leggy blonde who had decided his lap was the only place to sit. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Opie placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Jesus, Ope you scared the shit out of me," she laughed and waivered a little on her stool. Opie placed his hand on her arm to steady her.

"Tara, how much have you had to drink?" Opie asked unable to hide the amusement from his voice. Opie had only seen Tara this drunk maybe two other times, and if he hadn't seen it before he would have never believed she was drunk.

"A beer…and some whisky…and tequila…but not that much see" She motioned to the seven or so shot glasses sitting around her.

Opie just laughed. Tara wasn't a heavy drinker; usually she'd have a beer or two.

"Opie, where is whatsherface I had to drink by myself!" Tara whined as she gave him her best-drunk smile.

"Oh, Jen. She um broke up with me because I um couldn't commit or some bullshit like that," he sheepishly admitted to her.

"Opie we need to find you a good girl so I can have a drinking buddy," she whispered loudly to him.

"Also where is my boyfriend, I need to speak with him" as she said the word speak she nudged Opie in the chest.

"He's around here somewhere I think he went to go talk to Chibs," Opie said as he glanced around the room. He instantly regretted telling Tara where Jax was. Tara was drunk which meant as soon as she saw the blonde crow eater sitting on Jax's lap she was going to do something to get back at him. Sober Tara would be calm; drunk Tara would do something stupid.

Tara's eyes widened as she found Jax who was laughing at something Chibs had said. The blonde who was sitting on his lap just confirmed Tara's fear. Her mind clouded with the whisky and tequila from before searched the room for a way to make Jax equally as jealous. Her eyes landed on Happy, he would be perfect he was high enough up on the food chain that Jax wouldn't beat the shit out of him and he also was not as creepy as Tig. She got up slowly, looked at Opie and walked over. She whispered something in Happy's ear, and then pointed at Jax who had still not seen her. The two made their way to dance floor and began to dance, swaying in time to the music.

Jax sat there next to Chibs just idly talking about club shit; the blonde perched on his lap was pushing her fake tits in his face, not that he was complaining. His girlfriend was nowhere to be seen so what she didn't know wouldn't kill her. Tara was his old lady and all but it didn't mean that he couldn't look at other girls right? And who was he to rude and push this nice young lady away.

"Oh damn, looks like Happy's going to get happy tonight," whooped Chibs. The Tacoma President currently had some pretty brunette wrapped around him on the dance floor.

Jax swiveled his head to get a look at Happy, and just at that moment they saw the brunette's face. It was as if everyone had seen her face at the same time, and immediately all eyes were focused on Jax, waiting to see his reaction.

"Chibs, what the fuck is she doing?"Jax grunted out trying to keep his anger at bay.

"I think she may have seen you brother," the Irishman said as the blonde that was on Jax's lap was shoved over to his.

"Hey darlin" he said grinning at the blonde.

"Now Jackie boy, this is Happy and the fucking love of your life don't pull any stupid shit," Chibs said, this was certainly going to be a night to remember.

"How long has she been here," he asked as Opie took Jax's seat. The blonde biker quickly rushing over to confront his girlfriend and deal with the scene she was causing.

"Um, the whole time, which is more then enough time to consume more then enough Jack and Jose to make this an interesting night," the younger man replied.

Jax walked over to where his girlfriend and Happy were dancing, if you could call it that. Happy had his hands on Tara hips and she was grinding on him in time with the pulsing music. Happy nodded his head at Jax.

"Mind if I cut in, brother?" Jax asked Happy already moving out of the way.

"Not at all, have fun brother," Happy said as he went back over to where Clay and Bobby were sitting.

Jax placed his hands on Tara's hips and pulled her close, she had yet to look at him or ever speak to him.

He leaned down and whispered in her, sweeping her hair off her neck.

"Tara, baby, what the fuck was that all about?" he bit out softly. Tara could tell from the tone of his voice, that he was pissed.

"Oh so nice to see you Jackson. What get bored with that little blonde slut or is that how you like them these days," Tara spit out grinding into Jax just a little bit harder. Oh if Tara wanted to play that game it was on, Jax thought as he ground his dick into her ass hard. Tara's eyes widened as she felt his erection pressing hard on her ass.

Jax moved his hands from her hips and slowly turned her around to face him. Now as they stood face to face with each other Jax leaned down and whispered.

"I'm so sorry baby. You know I love you"

As soon as those words past Jax's lips Tara had already decided on a plan of action, it wasn't really ok but now was not the time to deal with it. It was probably the alcohol talking but Tara knew she needed to make a point to both Jax and whatever other sweet butt wanted to try and stake a claim to her man.

Tara didn't respond instead she grabbed the back of Jax's head and smashed her lips into his hard. Jax eagerly responded and returned her kiss with just as much forced. Their tongues dueled for control. Tara started to nibble on Jax's lower lip and her hand ever so slightly grazed his jean-clad crotch. As she moved her hand back up to his neck Jax moaned at the loss of contract. He broke off the kiss to grab her hand and lead her towards the stairs to his room.

The sudden applause reminded Tara exactly where she was. No amount of liquor could stop the blush to appear instantly on Tara's cheeks or her sudden need to bury her face in Jax's leather clad shoulder.

As soon as they reached the stairs however, Tara's lips were back on Jax's kissing him with the hunger as before. She hooked her arms around Jax's neck and kissed him even deeper. Jax reached down to grab her ass to pull her closer, as soon as his hands reached her ass Tara wrapped both legs around his waist. Jax knew he wasn't going to last much longer when he felt Tara expertly grinding on him in just the right way. Never breaking the kiss as he lead them upstairs, Jax knew he had to get up them into his room quick. Drunken Tara might have been ok with fucking in plain sight in the stairwell of the clubhouse but sober Tara would never be able to get over the embarrassment.

Tara's hand slipped down and expertly undid Jax's belt and the top button of his jeans. At this Jax finally broke the kiss.

"Babe, you gotta slow down for just a second, ok we're almost there," with that Jax moved faster then he thought possible up those stairs.

Tara just nodded her head and started leaving hot open mouth kisses down Jax's neck, collarbone and adam's apple. Tara laughed as Jax fumbled with the doorknob to his room, after letting off a string of curses he finally got it open. He had just managed to kick the door shut when he shoved Tara rather roughly up against the wall. The second her feet hit the ground Tara felt Jax slide his hands up her shirt and touch her tits under her shirt, he was pleasantly surprised to find them braless. Her fingers had already pushed the cut off his shoulders and were already undoing the buttons on his plaid shirt and biting and sucking as she opened each button. Jax groaned as she moved lower and lower getting closer and closer to his waistband, as Tara planted a kiss on his hipbone, Jax tensed instinctively as she got closer and closer. Instead of doing what he she placed a chaste kiss over his jean-clad erection and moved back up towards his face.

She then stood up and pushed him towards the bed until the back of his legs hit the bed and he lay down. Tara stood above him and pulled off her shirt exposing her tits for him.

"Jackson Teller, you hurt my feelings today. How exactly do you plan to make it up to me?" Tara asked in the sexiest voice she could muster at the moment. Had she sobered up more then she was, she would have felt embarrassed about what she had just said. But since she was still at least tipsy, she would worry about being stupid later.

"Well, darlin', I can think of few ways I can make it up to you," he said suggestively, his voicing trailing off as he paused to leer at her as she unbuttoned her pants and slid down her pants and underwear and stepped out of them. And there she stood in the middle of his messy room above the clubhouse completely exposed. Tara suddenly became embarrassed of her nakedness and instinctively moved her hands up to cover herself up. This had all seemed like a good plan a few minutes ago, now standing there naked with Jax just looking up at her she was regretting her plan.

Jax's hand pulling her down on the bed shook her out of her thoughts. As he moved her hands aside to look at her, he whispered, "Tara, sweetheart, you're beautiful."

All of Tara's fears were gone as Jax started to kiss her neck. First gentle kisses and slowly they became rougher and harsher as Jax moved down her body. Stopping just above her tits he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, his other hand slowly circling and pinching the other one. As he worked both of her nipples alternating between his mouth and his hands, Tara withered underneath him, moaning and moving her body in order to gain greater contact. He felt her grind into him, harder and harder trying to hit that spot she so desperately wanted to hit. Sensing her idea, Jax moved one her body and inserted two fingers in her. Tara hissed in pleasure and buckled underneath him. Jax smiled to himself and sped up his rhythm.

"Jax please, more please," Tara breathed out, knowing that she was getting desperately close. As her inserted a third finger and began to circle her clit with his thumb Tara knew that she was going to explode any time. Tara reached up her hands and placed them on Jax's wrists to stop him.

"No, baby I want you inside me. Fuck me Jax please." This was all Jax needed to hear, he sat up and unbuttoned his pants all the way and pushed them and his boxers down to his knees, he needed this too much to bother with undressing all the way. Tara reached up and stroked him as he positioned himself directly at her entrance. With a quick nod Jax thrust into her roughly, he grabbed her thighs to give himself more leverage and moaned her name as Tara hooked her ankles around his back bringing him in closer and deeper. Nothing about this was gentle and loving like they normally were, Jax set the pace fast and hard, grabbing at Tara's hips. He was positive that there would be bruises on her hips in the morning, just like he could already see the scratches forming on his back as she ran her nails down his back. No one was whispering sweet nothings; all that could be heard was the slapping of where their bodies met and competing moans.

"Fuck Tara you are so tight" Jax managed to get out before he was sure he could no longer form complete sentences.

"Jax please harder, I'm about to come." With that Jax increased his bone-shattering pace, which sent Tara over the edge, as she came she screamed his name pulsing all around him. That was all Jax needed and he followed her there grunting her name as he slumped over on top of her. It took a few minutes for them to recover but both had the same sloppy grins on their faces. Jax gathered Tara up in his arms and they both crawled into bed. Jax had pulled his boxers back on and Tara was covering herself up in his plaid shirt.

"Baby, that's a good look for you," he said as he planted a kiss on her forehead and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in tight, burrowing his head into her neck; inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Love you, Tara"

"Love you too, Jax"

"I'm glad you had a good night in spite of everything, babe. I really am sorry, I hope this made up for it," Jax chuckled as his entire apology was met with snores. He knew tomorrow Tara would need to actually talk about what happened. And he was ok with that. They'd deal with everything in morning.

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I'm not really sure where I'm going to go from here. I have a few ideas rattling around in my brain. So we'll see.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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Tara didn't dare open her eyes, she just wasn't ready to wake up and face the day. Instead she squeezed her eyes even tighter and tried to roll over. Instead all she did was cause her very much asleep boyfriend to pull her closer to him as she threatened to upset his position. Not in the mood to struggle with Jax, Tara just gave up moving and closed her eyes again and fell back asleep. Tara awoke again a few hours later and looked up at the clock. It was already later then she had planned to stay with Jax, if she didn't leave now then there was no way in hell she would be able to get any work done today. As her grogness began to fade Tara started to remember what exactly had happened last night: Jax and the blonde, dancing with Happy, almost having sex on the stairs, having angry sex with Jax. _Oh god. What have I done,_ thought Tara, and with that she sat up ignoring the grunts from the blonde haired man still wanting to sleep.

As Tara scrambled around to find her clothes that were God knows where on Jax's messy floor she felt arm go around her waist and start to pull her back down to the bed.

"C'mon darlin', just stay," Jax mumbled as he opened one eye to look at her. "It'll be fun we can spend the day in bed." With the last statement he had started to pepper kisses at her shoulder blades.

"Jax I have to go," Tara was determined to hold her ground this time. Deep down she knew that was only sort of true, but she wasn't quite ready to admit she was running away from what happened last night. Telling Jax that she was jealous would just make him think she didn't trust him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was just that she didn't trust them. Both his so called brothers in arms and the constant stream of skanks could care less that Jax was unavailable. As she resumed the search for her clothes Tara could already feel Jax's anger.

"Whatever, Tara," Jax bit out as he reached to pick up his pants. He knew she might be a little angry with him because of last night, but it wasn't like he was ever going to actually do anything with that blonde. He couldn't understand why she was getting so worked up about it.

Tara sighed as she walked towards the door this was how things usually went with them. She would get upset and Jax would brush it off like nothing. The harder she tried to hold on to him, to stay with him, the more she found herself exhausted. She was tired of giving up and she was tired of fighting. As she reached up to turn the doorknob, she looked back at Jax laying on the bed smoking. Tara let her arm drop, the tears were already starting to form and she desperately tried to blink them back. She stood there motionless, tears falling silently down her face, and for what seemed like hours until she felt her knees start to quiver. And with that she let herself slide down to the floor, the sobs finally started to come as she wrapped her arms around her knees. Desperately trying to bring her chin to her knees.

As soon as Jax saw her start to slide to the floor he was instantly at her side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and drawing her to him as rubbed her back. Tara just continued to sob into his chest, as he helplessly tried to calm her down.

"Shhh, Tara it's ok, baby. It's ok. You're ok, you're ok," Jax just kept repeating those words are he kissed the top of her head. "Baby it's ok, don't cry."

That seemed to only make her cry harder, until finally, her sobs started slowing down, and her breathing started returning to normal. They sat in silence as Tara's sobs faded into sniffles.

"Jax. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Tara managed to get out; her breaths were hitched as she tried to still catch her breath.

"It's ok, Tara," Jax said, leaning his head against the wall. Her apologizing and he forgiving her was such a common occurrence he wasn't even sure if either of them meant it anymore.

"No, no it's not ok. Its not ok at all," there she had said it. Tara had said what she had been trying to avoid saying. She had put it out there.

"I know," Jax sighed. Simple, to the point, it was out there what they had been dancing around for weeks was out there in the open. Neither of them said anything for couple of minutes. The only sound in the room was of their steady breathing. Jax still had his arm around Tara and her head was nestled between his chin and his shoulder. She was leaning on him like the world depended on it. Not trusting her arms to support her body.

Tara took a breath and just decided to go for it, what else was she to do.

"I can't keep up with you Jax, and, and, and, I want to but this isn't me. I'm not one of them. And I trust you, I do, but I have these fears. I don't want to smother you or control you but I just don't know anymore," Tara started to untangled herself from Jax, she certain he wouldn't want to touch her after what she had said. But to her surprise he pulled her even closer and kissed her head. When he didn't say anything else, Tara continued.

"I've never done this before so I'm not really sure how it works, but I know I can't keep living like this. I need to know once and for all that you want me and only me," she said finally getting everything out. It felt good, she felt free.

Taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair Jax, mulled over exactly what he could say to this girl who he loved more then anything else to make her see that he wanted to make this right.

"Baby, last night was…last night…last night was…I messed up," it wasn't I'm sorry but it was the best Jax could give her for now. "I shouldn't have let that happen, but I can't promise something like that won't happen again. The girls they come with the lifestyle, I'm not going to lie to you and say that I will never look at another girl. But I can promise that I will never do anything more then that. I can't stop some crow eater from trying because that's what they do. But that's all they will ever do with me. I promise. You're the only girl for me."

It wasn't exactly what Tara wanted, but it was enough. It was enough.

"Tara the kind of feelings I have for you. The 'I need to be with you all the time or I'll die kind', those don't go away. Everything you gave up for me, I'm in this for the long haul," Jax said laying all his cards on the table.

"But I'm never going to be one of them Jax, I'm never going to quite fit in," Tara said the sadness obvious in her voice.

"Jesus Tara, I don't want you to. You take me away from it you keep me sane. I don't want you to become one of them," he said as he pulled away from her to look her in the eyes as he talked. He ever so lightly planted kisses over her puffy eyes, forehead and checks. Before reaching her lips and planting a light kiss on her lips.

Jax knew the problem with the blonde wasn't completely solved. He would still need to make up for it, but they had at least come to some sort of an understanding. Tara was never going to fully understand how exactly she helped Jax. Tara was the reason that he would never turn into Tig, she was the reason he'd never end up like Clay. Even though they'd grown up together and experienced so much together there was something about that didn't quite work. Which was made them work.

"Jax, I still really do need to get home so I can work on my school stuff," Tara said a laugh clearly evident in her voice.

"Alright, lemme take you home," Jax said as he pulled them both up and pulled Tara in for a passionate kiss.

As the pair walked out of the room and through the clubhouse to Jax's bike, Tara ignored the looks she knew the other bikers were giving her after her show last night. She just clung to Jax's hand allowing him to lead her through his world. Jax handed Tara his helmet and climbed onto his bike. Tara bit her lip and held back whatever she was about to say about Jax needing to wear a helmet too and just wrapped her arms around his waist.

Jax cut the bike's engine when they reached her house, there were no cars in the drive way which meant that Tara's dad wasn't home, allowing Jax to actually drop Tara off in front of her house instead of down the street like he normally did. Tara's dad didn't particularly care for Jax, he thought his daughter could do better and hated the biker for forcing his daughter to stay in Charming when she was obviously so much better then this town.

"Bye Baby, I love you," Jax said kissing Tara chastely and leaning his forehead on hers. She handed him back his helmet and walked up to front door.

She waved and called out, "Come by later tonight? I'll leave the window unlocked," and with that she turned and bounced into the house.

Jax started his bike up again and considered what to do next. It seemed like a good idea for ride, just to clear his head and think about what to do next. Jax wasn't sure where exactly he was going, not really focusing on anything the white lines of the highway started to blend together as Jax just drove. The California sun beat down on his back, but the heat only seemed to push him to go faster and faster. And the faster he drove the more he let his mind wander. To Tara, to the club, to everything. Maybe it would make Tara feel better if he was take a step away from temptation. Maybe it was time to stop sneaking around behind Tara's dad's back. Maybe they should move in together. It seemed like a good idea, but Jax wasn't so sure. Living together could also put their problems under a microscope. Jax was over thinking it, he he wanted to keep Tara he needed to show her. She had stayed in Charming for him, he needed to get out of the clubhouse for her.


End file.
